We are the ones that make our every day lives harder than necessary. We bring ourselves down because we worry about the most stupid things, and we get unhappier the more we do so. It destroys the balance that we often try and find in our days and relationships, and it does not only have an effect on us, but also the people around us. Everyone feels a little down sometimes, that's human nature, but if we only remind us of a few certain things whenever we actually are down, maybe we can put a little more light into the grey days.
CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF US
Whether it is just a simple answer to a question, going out to see some friends and not knowing what would be the right thing to wear, when we go to the gym, when we hold up quite a few people because our time at the post desk is taking a little longer, even when we are eating or listening to music. We spend way too much of our time thinking about what the people around us might think of us, when in the end it's not what matters.
You liked that dress in Topshop but you aren't sure whether you could pull it off or what your mum is going to say if you come home with this, and your friends that aren't used to seeing you wearing dresses? Why do you care? No one's going to say, wow I've never seen you wearing a dress before, why would you start doing it now, it looks bad on you. And if even if they did, that's definitely not someone who's opinion you should care about or who you should spend more time with than absolutely necessary. If you like it and you would like to wear it, then do it, without caring what other people might think of you because it is very likely that you are going to get more compliments rather than critiques.
Why do we keep doing this? Why do we care whether people like what we wear or what we eat or like? That's what makes us who we are, that is how we live, and if it bothers them, then that is definitely not their problem. If you like something, don't deny it because someone else might think that's strange or laugh about it. You are who you are, you do the things you do, and that's what makes us human. Stop caring what other people think of you, it's precious time wasted.
START SOMETHING AND NOT FINISH IT
Whether it's a scrapbook, a new workout plan, a course to learn a new language, a drawing, a blog, a DIY, even a jar of yoghurt. We get exited about so many things, yet we often leave them behind after some time, not because we have particularly lost the interest in it, but something is just stopping us, even if it's just a lack of motivation or something's not quite going with it the way you want it to.
Why do we do that? Why do we not work on the things that we are passionate about and work towards our goals? Finishing something like an arts project is sattisfiying, even if it doesn't turn out perfect. We need to stop stopping things we start. If they leave us unhappy, that's a reason to stop them, but if we once wanted nothing more than to finish that project or learn that language, we shouldn't loose focus on it. If you want something - work for it and push even through the annoying bits of it. It will all be worth it.
SAYING YES WHEN WE WANT TO SAY NO, SAYING NO WHEN WE WANT TO SAY YES
Your friends ask you for a night out, but you really don't feel like it or you've just realized that partying is not for you, yet you decide to agree to come. Two weeks later they ask again, and you are in the same position, yet you decide to agree for another time. You keep doing it, even if you don't want to do it. Why? Why do you keep doing it if you know it makes you unhappy. Why don't you honestly tell your friends that it's just not your kind of thing, but maybe you could do something else, that you would both enjoy, at a different time.
The people around us are important for our happiness and our lives, but that doesn't mean that your own opinions and wishes shouldn't count. In fact, in a lot of cases you should rather put yourself in front of other things. Your happiness is what counts, even if that means that sometimes you will need to say no to something.
Other times, you just need to realize that saying yes is a good thing, especially when you say no even though you want to say yes, and there's actually nothing keeping you from going for it. If you want to do something - do it. If you don't want to do something - don't do it. Do what makes you happy, not what will please someone else. Make the choice because you feel like it's the right one.
SURROUNDING US WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE
Sometimes you just feel stuck with people. Once upon a time you might have been so close but over time your interests and lives started going into completely opposite directions, and even if you don't feel happy in that relationship, you keep going instead of changing something, purely because you feel like you have to and you feel like it's the right thing, when at the same time you know that it's definitely not right. Nothing has to be wrong with the person or with you, but sometimes it's just not right anymore.
Other times we surround us with people purely because they give us the feeling of being part of something, something more powerful than if you were spending your time with other people. We surround us with people that keep telling us we can't do something, saying things we don't agree with at all, forcing us into things we don't want to do. We surround us with people that bring us down, that only let us worry and stress about more things than completely necessary. We need to stop doing that! Our relationships and environment have such a huge impact on us and our happiness. They sometimes bring us down without particularly wanting to or without us realizing.
But in order to live a happy life we need to spend time with the people that make us happy, and bring us forward in our lives, that inspire and motivate us - not the ones that cause more worrying, stress and trouble. Do yourself a favour, and let go of the people that stop you from living and healthy and happy life.
OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING
We put a lot of pressure on us, because most times we feel the need to overthink everything. Even if it's just about whether we should eat that last bit of food that's left or whether we should text a winking smiley or a laughing one. It stresses us out, because we take so many possibilities into consideration, that we forget to actually act. Overstressing causes stress and more fearing, and that only puts us into a bad mood, and often overthinking is the reason why we don't do things that we later regret not doing.
Stop overthinking everything, just go for it. It can go wrong either way. Take risks, go for it. Some things need some thought, but don't overdo it.
WORRYING ABOUT CHOICES OF THE PAST
Our choices are what makes us the people that we are. Sometimes we make bad ones, sometimes we make good ones. We know that they make us who we are, and that they are part of life, and that we have to accept that, yet we often regret doing things, saying things, not doing things, not saying things. Yes, that's shit. But at that point you felt like the choice was right, so why would you want to erase it now, if you felt like it was right once upon a time.
If you can't change something you did, why worry about it now. If you made a wrong choice, make sure to make it better next time, but don't regret doing something. Don't regret. Accept that you made that choice. You wouldn't be where you are if you hadn't made that choice. You learned something from making that choice. Accept that, do it differently next time.
NOT BELIEVING IN OURSELVES & UNDERESTIMATING OUR OWN ABILITIES
This is probably one of the worst things that we put ourselves through as human. We don't believe in ourselves, we judge ourselves, we hurt ourselves with our own thoughts, and we seriously need to stop doing that. We hate ourselves for things that we do and choices and mistakes we make, even though we as individuals are the most important person in our life. We are who we are, and we can't just leave this person behind because we are not happy with how we're feeling, because we are this person.
If we don't believe in ourselves, how are we supposed to go make it through life? Without having faith in ourselves, we are miserable. And we can't do that. In the end, the person we will always be able to trust the most, and the person that we will never be able to leave behind is ourself.
Believe in yourself. It's one of the most important things to do in life. You are who you are for a reason, and you will have to live with that fact. Make the most of it. Believe in yourself and conquer the world, because if you believe in yourself, you can do almost anything. Don't underestimate your own abilities.
JUDGING PEOPLE
People are different, that's a fact. Not everyone is someone we would like to spend our time with, that's another fact. However, that doesn't mean that it gives us the right to judge, hate and bully the people around us. We have to accept that they are just like we are. They make choices that we might not be able to relate to, but that doesn't give us a right to judge them for their choices. If you don't know someone's reasons, don't judge them. And as no one knows you better than your own self, you will probably never know their true reasons for acting like that.
You don't need to love them or become best friends with them, act like they do, but accept that they are just trying to be themselves and live the way that they want to. Just like you do.
Some of you are probably just sitting there like: I already know all of this stuff, why are you even telling me this, it's nothing new. Yes, that's probably true, but sometimes we need to be reminded of these things. We know these things but sometimes we just forget these things at the most important times, when we are doing exactly these things that we shouldn't do. Keep it in mind, try to make it better. We all want 2017 to be the best year of our lives, and we need to take that opportunity to do something different and make it better than before. Maybe trying to remind us of these things that I just talked about will help us along the way. At least I hope so. I wish you the best of luck.
Have a beautiful week 😊
Lots of Love, Jacqueline Xx
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