When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi #BOOKREVIEWS

School is done, which means Summer is finally here and I am finally back to blogging! Get prepared for hopefully a big load of blog posts within the following weeks, as I am finally able to put time back into the things that I enjoy doing, whilst preparing for my gap year and uni! Get ready!!! 😊

What I expected was a beautiful novel about a middle-aged man who gets cancer but that is also a neurosurgeon. (I mean, as beautiful as that can be.) Stupid me should have definitely read the description properly, because what I had in my hands was not just another cancer novel, but the real life story and thoughts of a real neurosurgeon who gets lung cancer, written in a sort of autobiographical way. I was actually genuinely excited to read a fiction work about someone with cancer, so I have to admit that I did feel a little bit let down when I read the first few pages of the first chapter and had to come to a different realization: that this book was going to be very different from what I had expected it to be. Nevertheless, I decided to read the rest of the book with an open mind and forget about what I had anticipated it to be about, and that turned out to a very good idea.

But before I tell you what I thought of Paul Kalanithi's work, here's a better overview of what the novel is actually about:

“At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, the next he was a patient struggling to live. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi’s transformation from a medical student asking what makes a virtuous and meaningful life into a neurosurgeon working in the core of human identity – the brain – and finally into a patient and a new father. What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when when life is catastrophically interrupted? What does it mean to have a child as your own life fades away? Paul Kalanithi died while working on this profoundly moving book, yet his words live on as a guide to us all. When Breath Becomes Air is a life-affirming reflection on facing our mortality and on the relationship between doctor and patient, from a gifted writer who became both.”  

(- Source: Amazon U.K.)

It's not a long book itself with only about 220 pages, but the first few pages did seem a little tiring. I found it a little hard to get into the novel, particularly because I felt like some scenes about his youth didn't really seem to add up to the story that the actual novel was about.

The beginning of the novel to me seemed a little too slow and too little thought-through, but throughout the following pages Paul's words and story seem to be getting stronger and more interesting, the further his story and illness progresses. He manages to give both a wonderful insight into the hard work that neurosurgeons all over the world are facing every day, whilst also showing what cancer can do to your mind and life, and how he tried to work and deal with it.

At times it did feel like the focus was set more on his life and story as a neurosurgeon, rather than his actual dealings with cancer. whether that's a problem for you I guess depends on what you're looking for in a book like that. If you only want to get an insight into someone's cancer story, then maybe it is not “the” novel you're looking for. 

Personally I found it really interesting to get an insight into the work of a neurosurgeon, how he has to and does deal with certain things most of us don't even think about when we see these people working. It's very eye-opening in that case, probably because it is written from such a personal angle, because I feel like, way too often, doctors are not really given full acknowledgement for what they do and what they have to deal with in their personal life in order to pursue their work.

If you want to read this book, I definitely recommend at least a slight interest in medicine/neurology, because otherwise, I am not sure how much of a pleasure it will be for you to read.

But please don't get me wrong here – I am not trying to tell you that this is a bad novel or that you shouldn't read it! Definitely not! Yes the beginning is a little slow, yes it's not a perfect piece of written art, but Paul Kalanithi has done a great job at opening eyes. And he does tell it kind of like a story, it's not written like it's just a long article about his life events, and I think that's also what makes it really interesting.

All in all, I'd probably give this book a 3,5 out of 5 stars. It's a little slow at times, and probably not something for someone that isn't at least in the slightest interested in neurology or working in medicine, but it is definitely worth a read. With a beautiful style of writing, Paul Kalanithi tells the reader about his work and life threatening terminal cancer, his experiences, struggles and dealing with both and therefore gives a wonderful insight into what it is like to be both a neuroscientist and a cancer patient, which is really eye-opening. If that sounds like it could be something you're interested in, definitely give it a read. It's not the best book on earth, but it's definitely a good one! 

Have a wonderful week everyone ♥

Haul of the Holiday: Geeking Out in Greece

Welcome to a new post!

While you're reading this, I should hopefully be sitting on a beautiful, sunny beach in the gorgeous country that is Greece. I've been looking forward to this trip for a while, as I have never been to Greece before. But as I love reading, and I also can't just spent the whole time on the beach by sleeping, because I hate being unproductive, I thought I would at least treat myself to a few new books for the beach times. Yes, that's not technically being productive, but at least I feel like I'm doing something haha. Let's hope I'll kind of find a way of actually relaxing by reading. Usually that works...at least for a little while.

I picked up three books, which might be a little over ambitious for such a short amount of time and depending on how much time we'll actually spend at the beach, but I like to be prepared. If I only end up finishing one of these, because we're having so much fun that's fine too. I'm not there just to read after all. At least I am hoping that I can persuade my fam to do a little bit of exploring around the area we're staying in. 😊

Dunkirk: The History Behind The Major Motion Picture - Joshua Levine

You might have seen the trailer and adverts for the new Christopher Nolan film named 'Dunkirk' (featuring the gorgeous Mr. Harry Styles). I really want to go and see the film, but before that, I really want to learn something about the actual historic events that the movie talks about. If, like me before I heard about the film, don't know what Dunkirk is about (we don't learn about that in school over here), here's a small summary from the back of the book. I'm really exited to find out more about what happened back then.

" The Battle of Dunkirk, in May/June 1940, is remembered as a stunning defeat, yet a major victory as well. The Nazis had beaten back the Allies and pushed them across France to the northern port of Dunkirk. In the ultimate race against time, more than 300,000 Allied soldiers were daringly evacuated across the Channel. This moment of German aggression was used by Winston Churchill as a call to Franklin Roosevelt to enter the war. Now, historian Joshua Levine explores the real lives of those soldiers, bombed and strafed on the beaches for days on end, without food or ammunition; the civilians whose boats were overloaded; the airmen who risked their lives to buy their companions on the ground precious time; and those who did not escape."

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - Joanne K. Rowling

Why the hell is she buying a Harry Potter book, shouldn't she already own one if she's a Potterhead? Well, yes she does own this book already but she has never read the whole series in English, although many many MANY times in German. Don't know why the hell I was talking about myself in third person there haha.

Basically, I feel like it's finally time to re-read the whole series again, after not having re-read it completely in about three years, which is a long time for me not to re-read Harry Potter, let me tell you. And this time I'm finally doing it in English.

I just finished re-reading the Philosopher's Stone again, so now it's time to explore the Chamber of Secrets again...although, to be fair, it's my least favourite book of the series...Sorry, if that sentence just broke any hearts, it's just the truth. 🙈😃

Unfiltered - Lily Collins

Finally I got this book in my hands. I've been exited to read Lily's book, basically since the day she announced that she was writing one. (Can we also please talk about her gorgeous British accent in "Love, Rosie"?) I don't know exactly what she is talking about, apart from the fact that it has some autobiographical bits and life tips included, but otherwise it's going to be a complete surprise. But as Dunkirk is quite the heavy book, I felt like it would be perfect to take this one with me as well, as it's a much lighter and easier read. I mean, it's all about balance, isn't it?

If I somehow manage to actually get through all three of these books, which I don't think I am, I have also got the book "The Circle" waiting for me on my Kindle, just in case. I really want to read that one since I saw the trailer for the film with Emma Watson and thought it sounded awesome, so that's definitely on my TBR list, whether it's for Greece or later in the year.

Do you have any recommendations on things to do or places to go in Crete? Definitely share them with us in comments below. I'm open to any suggestions, because I really want to do some exploring  whilst we're over there (my mum will hate me for this haha).

Also, any other book recommendations - just leave them below, if you like. :)

Have a gorgeous week! ♥

Love, Jacqueline Xx

Books To Read This Month & Wider Reading For Uni

Welcome to a new post!

If you've been following my blog for a little while, you might know that I enjoy reading quite a lot. And if you don't, well, now you do haha. 😋 I had already put my reading goal to 40 books for this year, even though it's definitely not going to be one where I will be able to make much reading, especially towards the second half of the year. I'm trying my best though, and I'm absolutely loving it.

However, I am currently hoping to somehow find a way to finance my dream course at my dream university in Glasgow. I have been googling tons of different things for nearly three months about it, however, I didn't seem to come across such thing as a personal statement and wider reading. I don't think you have to do either of those things to apply to any university in Germany, so it kind of shocked me seeing Eve tweet about doing something like wider reading for a personal statement. I get why they are doing it, but I was a little shocked to find out  and that definitely put a little more pressure on.

I mean I don't even know if I have any chance of going to that uni right now, but I might as well take the challenge. I do love a challenge, and reading a few different things to my usual romances and sci-fis won't hurt me. I've been wanting to try and read some more classics for a while and it's the perfect opportunity, although I am sure wider reading is not just about reading classics. I just haven't read many classic books in school yet, so I think it's the time to do so.

Whether I will end up making use of it in a personal statement for my dream uni or not, I am so going to do this. And here's what I decided to make my first purchases...although I have to be honest...some of these I bought a few days before I found out about all of this jazz, but I thought I would include them anyway.

 Veronica Roth - Carve The Mark

I've been wanting to read this ever since I heard about it being released in January as I loved Divergent, but somehow it took me another month after the release date to finally order this. Obviously I already had to read this, even though I was a lot more in 50 Shades mode when I started it than one for one that is a little more Science Fiction or Fantasy...I am actually not quite sure on the genre of this. Sadly, it didn't get close to how awesome Divergent was, but it's still a very nice book. I found it a little hard to get into the world of the characters from time to time, but if you are looking for a lovely novel or you just love Veronica Roth to death - read it. Can we talk about how pretty the cover is, as well?

 William Shakespeare - Romeo & Juliet

Well, to be fair, I was only half exited about purchasing this. I actually already own a copy of Romeo & Juliet, but I never finished it because I thought it was a good idea to make it one of the first books I read in English as a non-native English speaker (is that even a word?). Well, it definitely wasn't, because I never finished it as I didn't understand a thing. However, we are reading it for our Advanced English course this year, and I finally have the chance to properly read it. I mean I'm pretty much forced to, aren't I? I actually finished it yesterday, and even though I was off to a rough start once again, meaning I put it down for two weeks after reading Act 1, with learning about that wider reading thingy I actually got really exited to read it and ended up quite enjoying it. Yes, it's not my favourite thing ever to try and guess what the hell Shakespeare means with some words and phrases, but somehow it still didn't put me off of wanting to try another Shakespeare novel in the future.

 J.K. Rowling - Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them:

The Original Screenplay

Being the Potterhead I am, and no one coming to see the film with me (which kinda broke my heart, especially because my mum (the one who introduced me to the series in the first hand and loves it just as much as me) didn't want to go with me because apparently she had no time...I'll just force her next time hehe), I just had to get the book even though I hate reading screenplays. I mean, I would have gotten the book anyway at some point, but I had actually planned on seeing the movie first before getting this. Well, I had to change those plans but now I am even more exited to get the DVD for Easter and watch it millions of times. Eddie Redmayne is such a nice guy, I have already watched all of his interviews for the film, and oh my god his accent! I am so exited to see this, can you tell?

 David J. Peterson - The Art of Language Invention

If you read my recent blogpost on my writing you will know that I am currently sitting on the edits of my most recent novel. When I saw this book a few months back whilst googling Game of Thrones books, I got really interested in seeing what it was about. I put it in and out of my basket quite a few times but finally decided to order it. It's not that I need a particular new language for my book, but it might come in very handy with a few spells and if I ever decide to write a sequel (which I am hoping for). I haven't gotten very far into it as the Sounds part seems kind of boring to me because even with the explanation I don't quite understand most of it, but we'll see. I am hoping to love the rest of it, because the introduction was actually quite nice.

 George Orwell - 1984

This was one of the main books that came up when I was researching wider reading, though there is not a proper list, and I saw quite a few people saying that it's one of their favourite books. I didn't even have an idea what it's about when I saw it in the book store, but I bought it anyway. I want to know what the fuss is about. I am yet to start it, but I think I'll make it the next one I read, because I am very intrigued to read it. If you've read this before, let me know what you thought of it!

 Truman Capote - Breakfast At Tiffany's

I have never seen nor read Breakfast At Tiffany's. To be fair, I don't even know what it's about apart from what it says on the back. Considering how many people love the story, that might come a little shocking to you, but I somehow just never came round to reading it. For me it was never on any reading list until I was googling wider reading. This actually came up in a list or two, so I decided to give it a try. And to be honest, this gorgeous cover was just one of the main reasons why I decided to make it one of my first wider reading purchases. I'm quite exited to read it now.

 Alan Bennett - The Uncommon Reader

To be fair, I had never heard of this book before until I was standing in the book store browsing the shelf full of school and uni books. I would have never picked it up if it wouldn't have had the queen on it because it would have gotten lost in the mass of other books around it. But I am absolutely obsessed with the British and Swedish royals, and it being about the Queen learning to love reading - I just couldn't put it down again, even though I knew pretty much nothing about it. It's actually my current read, and I am still trying to figure out what I think of it. If you want to know what I think of it, I actually put up a lot of my reviews on goodreads.

Sooo, what do you think of my most recent book purchases? I actually have quite the list now of books I want to read since I started obsessing over wider reading, even though that actually might not be that necessary, but if you have any other suggestions, no matter for what genre - definitely share them with me! I love love love reading and I have a lot more time to try and read all of the books in the world, so keep those recommendations coming in.

Have a wonderful start to the new week ♥

Lots of Love, Jacqueline Xx

LET'S TALK: Writing & an Excerpt From My Novel

Each and every single one of us needs a way to escape reality from time to time. Some of us go for a walk to let go off all thoughts and worries, others workout or go and get lost in one of their hobbies. There are various ways to release stress and anxiety, yet not all of them are suitable for every person.

Ever since I remember I have loved to write stories, and I am still doing it today. Over the years I have learned how to make better use of my passion, how to get better at it, and how it helps me when I need to shut down for a while.

You don't have to be passionate about writing for it to help you dealing with your problems and worries. All of you should know that talking about things helps, but so does writing. When you don't want to talk about something to anyone, or you just don't feel ready yet to do so, write your thoughts down. Tear all of your feelings out and pour it onto that piece of paper.

Don't worry about the world around you and focus on this, because afterwards you will feel so much better about it, because you released it and let go. You put that stone off of your chest which was weighing you down all along. You finally gave the ability to breath back to yourself, and even though that might not solve your problems, you will now have a clear mind to re-think everything and make the right decisions for yourself. 

I don't really know where I am heading with this blogpost. Somehow I felt like saying a few words about this. Sorry if, once again, this is a completely unstructured mess, because this coming out straight from my head.

Even as a fiction writer you will always put pieces of yourself into a story, whether you like to or not. You probably won't even realize it. You might give the love interest of your character almond shaped, and hazelnut coloured eyes, purely because that's your preference in real life. You will choose the character's hobbies, names and living situations from your own experiences and preferences. If you hated anything concerning football, you would probably not make your main character a person that loves football more than anything and doesn't shut up about it. In fact, you would probably rather make that person hate football just like you.

People say that many books tell the same things today, because they've got a pretty similar story line. But that's not quite true. Yes, there are a shit ton of books out there were the main character falls in love with someone, then finds out a dark secret about them or they have a jealous ex or good friend, and then they break up before they get back together in the end.

But if you look closely, none of these books are the same. Look at the books like people. There are no two people that are the same, because we're all different and each of us is perfect in our own way. Books are like that too. There are similar ones that get along in a category and will follow each other for years and years in the world of book shelves and book shops. Yet, even though they have a similar main story line, they will never be the complete same.

An author will always put their own preferences and hates in their, their own experiences, plainly because that's how writing works, and that's why writing gives many of us such pleasure and happiness. Because through writing these words, we can express our feelings, without having to say them out loud or writing these exact words down.

His deep frown always made him appear like one of those bad guys, who's girlfriend you better not touch because he might as well kill you. Yet, whenever you saw him talking to someone, it seemed like there was a hint of relief to be seen in the corners of his strong but pale grey, almond shaped eyes. I always thought him to be fascinating somehow. There was something about the way he moved through the world around him, something about his closeness towards anything and anyone trying to come close to him, that drew me to him.

See? A few sentences that might seem very quick written and with little thought put in it, yet there is so much more to it, that even we as authors don't discover ourselves. Out of these few sentences you could read so much about me.

Maybe I like grey eyes, maybe I just have a love for face details, maybe I have a thing for bad boys, maybe I like watching the people that are around me, trying to find out more about them. Maybe I would just like to have someone like that in my life, because we also put our own wishes and ideals into these words.

It's a list of maybes and I won't tell you what my own interpretation is, but doesn't this prove to you how much you can pour into a few words on paper? Isn't it fascinating how making these weird little drawings in our notebooks or on our computer can make us feel better about ourselves, our problems and the world around us? Sometimes it truly does feel like magic to me, and I hope I'm not the only one thinking that way.

A few months ago, in November to be precisely, I started a new NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) project, after planning out many ideas for the few weeks beforehand. Pretty much every day expect for Christmas week I've been working on that book, and I still am today, three months later, still sitting on my first draft.

Writing books is not as easy as everyone thinks it is. Sometimes I wish it was, particularly in the moments when I'm really bored of the scene that I am currently writing, and I just don't know how to put it down on paper and get it right. But then again I think - nothing in life comes easy, why should writing do that then. If writing books was easy, everyone would be doing it, and that would definitely take the fun out of it.

The thing is, if you love writing you will start writing at some point, even if takes a while, because you won't be able to let go of it, even though it's hard. I often find myself struggling with scenes, especially the ones in between big events happening in the novel that I am exited for. I get so eager to write that next event that I loose the motivation to write that scene I am currently working on. It's annoying and tough, but at the same time I know it's worth it. I do it, because I enjoy it and it makes me happy, and as you all know - we should always do the things that make us happy.

The goal of hopefully being able to publish books of my own one day, definitely helps too, I've got to admit that. But without working, which will also contain these boring scenes in between that I don't want to write because I am so exited about the next one, I would never be able to achieve that dream. A book needs a few scenes in between huge events, even if it's just the character taking a breath and thinking about something for a few lines. Wanting to achieve that dream also includes lots of practicing and without me trying and writing and writing and writing, I would never get better at things.

My writing style has changed a lot since my first stories, because I am now a lot more educated and into it, because I didn't stop writing over the years. But I would have never gotten to where I am now, if I wouldn't have done that. Practice makes you better. I won't tell you to write every day if you love writing and want to publish your own books one day, just as much as I won't tell you to hop on a plane each day and fly somewhere new if you would like to fly airplanes yourself one day. Bad example, sorry, but you get what I mean.

For the sake of this blogpost, I might as well share with you a scene from my current project, which is kind of inspired by Harry Potter but not. It's still my own story and completely different, even though they have similarities.

It's basically about a girl who lives post world war three, so slightly set forward into the future (although I am praying there will never be a number three), who thinks she's finally done with school when something strange occurs, which then throws her into the middle of a supernatural college. There are several kinds of magical creatures, and she has to face a transition of her own into one of these ones at the beginning, before school starts. But even though she seems to fit in a lot better there than human school, soon she has to face an enemy which she never thought to would have to fight.

Did that sound like a full fantasy children novel? Sorry if it did, it's definitely not that! I just don't know how to describe and summarize it in the right way.

I would love to tell you more about that part, but that would just give way too much away. As I said, I haven't edited any of this yet, purely because I am not even finished with my first draft, but I might as well share it with you anyway, because there is no chance I will get that done before uploading this haha. There are many many changes going to happen in the editing process, and I am already kind of exited for it. I really hope that this will pretty much end up as a masterpiece that I might be able to send off one day, because I really really enjoy the plot and the characters that I have come up with, but that will probably take a long time because I am quite the perfectionist when it comes to my writings.

I should also mention that this is the first time ever that I am writing a book in English because I really really wanted to try it, so please forgive me if it's still pretty horrendous.  I only realized when starting this, that even though I thought I didn't have the worst vocabulary, there is so much left to learn for me. It's like I am having to learn to write pretty much all over again, because sentences sound so differently. That's a shitty explanation of the situation, but whatever. It's harder than I thought it would be to find the right words sometimes in order not to repeat myself a billion times. But anyway, here's the excerpt. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

When I awaken, I search for my memory, keeping my eyes closed. What happened? There is a weird feeling tumbling through my stomach. I can't make out what it is, but something is wrong here. Something is definitely not like it should be.

I open my eyes, and stare at a bare, and grey ceiling. I slowly get up, and precisely put my naked feet on the floor, trying hard not to make any noises. I slide onto my feet, the grey, and washed out night gown making its way down to my thighs. The colours of the room seem to have faded, the sun probably being on the opposite end of the building right now. I stay still for a few minutes, examining the room, that is pretty much empty except for the bed that I had just been on. I wait for noises, but when they don't come, I finally set my hand on the door knob and very very slowly turn it around.

I nearly faint when I open the door and look straight into a face only centimeters away from my own. I am paralysed for a few seconds, maybe minutes. The young man that is standing front of me can only be few years older than me, maybe 5, maybe 10, or somewhere in between. At least that is what the slight and starting wrinkles on his forehead tell me. His hair is somewhere in between a dark brown and a black, the lighting makes it hard to guess, but it's slightly curly, even if it's not that long. His bright and ice blue eyes seem to stare right through my soul. His nose is slightly hooked, but pretty geometrical. There's a little grin on his lips, the left side of his lip slightly moving upwards and revealing a pair of pretty white and straight teeth. A little too white and straight to be real, and quite creepy, especially that close.

My eyes start to follow down to his black suit, but he stops me by starting to talk: ,, I see, you have finally woken up, Miss. May I?” His hand touches the door, as if asking for permission to enter. His voice is rusk, yet has a tone of youth to it. If I had any idea where I was, I might have thought it sounded pretty nice. I stare at his suit a few more seconds, trying to make out how I will find a way home quickly, before I slowly take a few steps back. Still, the door nearly hits me in the face, when he throws the door open. Only now I notice his lean and athletic figure. He's nearly two heads taller than I am, meaning I have to look up to him.

,, Do you have any idea where you are and how you got here, Maisie?”, I can't stop staring into his eyes whilst he is talking to me. I jump a little at the sound of my name. My actual name. How does he know my name? How does he know that name? I have never told anyone about it before. No one but my parents and my sister know and knew about this name. How does this person know more than I have ever lead out of my mouth. I'm missing something. My instinct is telling me that immediately.

,, Who are you?”, I ask, instead of answering his question. ,, Answer me first. This is extremely important.”, he responds with a concerned look on his face. ,, No.”, is all I say. ,, No as in you aren't giving me an answer or no you don't know where you are or how you got here?” ,, The last thing I remember is a fire. And no I have got no idea where I am, but you mind telling me so I can get some clothes and leave real quick. I have got some things to figure out. Thank you.”, I answer with an angry undertone in my voice. I don't even try to hide it. ,, Wow, easy little bird. You are going to find out all you need to know as soon as you have changed into something occasionally fitting clothes. It's a big day for you, and I am way for exited for you than I am allowed to be.”, a goofy smile runs over his lips. I would have melted at this a few days ago, but right in that second I am more annoyed and confused than being able to let any other emotion control me.

,, Keep that to yourself. Tell me right now and let me leave.”, I respond quickly, my whole body put under tension. ,, I like your confidence, but you aren't going to get far with that here, if that is all you have got. Trust me, you don't want to hear it from me, because you will probably faint anyway. At least, that is what I would probably do. Better in a sensitive way, than hard and quick from me... There's a dress under your bed. Change and you will be waited for. Don't worry about it, just do it. You will understand very soon.” I can't quite make out whether he is making fun of me, especially because he hasn't stopped smiling, and I feel like punching him in the face. Who is he and why does he think he is obliged to tell me what to do?

,, Don't even think about it, I have got a hard punch. Trust a stranger for a few moments, will you? And if let you down, you will never have to do it again.”, he steps outside and closes the door behind without another word.

Before I am even able to breath again, the door opens another time: ,, Amphis.” ,, What?”, I ask, confused what he is talking about. ,, Amphis. That's my name.” A second later he is out again and I am alone.


Sorry if that was really shitty. I was trying hard not to edit more than some spelling mistakes, as I am forcing myself to wait with that until I have completely finished the first draft. It's not perfect yet, but that's what the editing process is for. It's probably going to take me so long but I am looking forward to it so much. Reading over this for the first time since writing it to put this in here actually made me realize how much I actually enjoy and love this story. But, I think it's time to leave you alone and use the time off of school work to do some more writing. I've got a book to write.

How did you like the excerpt? Any constructive criticism is always very welcome! :) Do you love to write yourself or do you have a different passion that you love spending on? Let me know.

Have a great day ♥

Love, Jacqueline Xx


P.S. Please do not copy/share/use the excerpt of the novel above without my permission!

A Weekend at Frankfurt Book Fair

Welcome to a new post!

Last weekend it was finally time for one of my favourite weekends of the whole year, that I'm always looking forward to. Each year in October, the book fair in Frankfurt am Main, Germany takes place for a few days, being open to public for two of those. I started going there with my mum a few years ago, and haven't missed a year since.

Book fairs are were you are in a big area full of all these people that share your love for books, and how incredible is that?

I'm not fully aware of too many book fairs outside of Germany, but I'm pretty sure there are tons. If you have never been to one before, and you love books, I really recommend you to visit one. You might think it gets boring over the years, but that is definitely not the case. Each year their are new authors, new talks, new books and new experiences to happen (and tons of free stuff and food to take home hehe ;) ).

Today it's time to share my experiences from this year with you, and I will hopefully be able to make it enjoyable for you, at least in a slight way, and maybe even motivate you to go to a book fair yourself, if you haven't done so yet. :)

Saturday, and also Day 1 of the days that are open for public started off very early and foggy but it was definitely worth doing. I really recommend going early if you go to any of these things, because they get really full and sticky pretty quickly. It's probably not for everyone, at least here you can often find little mobs, especially in the second half of the day.

As soon as I was in, I practically ran for the hall of children- and teenager/young adult books which actually contains all books interesting to be honest. Not because I am only 17 but because that's were all publishers are that sell any book from childrens books, to thrillers, YA, Sci-Fi, etc - literally everything interesting. It's also the one that fills up the quickest, which is why it's always my first destination in the morning, and the one that I stay in the longest.

Even if I don't read German books anymore, I bloody love going through that hall. There's something really magical about it, I don't even know. Wherever you look you see people looking through books, taking pictures and picking up free bits and bobs.

Never have I ever seen more reading samples in my life before than at that place. The first year we came home with bags and bags of stuff, and I am really glad we went on a day that we weren't able to buy books at. That would have ended with us having to buy suitcases to get all that stuff home. This year I decided to only take the stuff that I truly wanted or felt like I would actually use (pens, food, Jamie Oliver recipes, Christmas tags etc). That's definitely been a better choice if you ask me.

Beforehand you get the chance to go through the app or the calendar on the website of the fair and find all the events happening over the whole time that it takes place. You can search for certain topics, authors, events or simply have a look through all of them and favourite which ones you want to keep in mind and maybe go to. That app has honestly saved me, even though I basically never end up going to these publishing events that I plan on going to, in order to find more information on things to do and not do once I've written the book of a lifetime maybe.

However, there are plenty of authors coming there for talks and signings, and not just German ones! There are many talks and discussions happening as well, so many in fact, you would never be able to see all of them. Not all of them focus on books, a lot of them also focus on political topics. In the hall that is partly about cooking and baking books, you can also watch cooking shows and try different stuff, I mean - what else could you possibly want?

There are photobooths, cosplayers, a certain country that they focus on in one hall each year (the Netherlands and Flanders), food trucks and sooo many other things that I am currently forgetting about.

Doesn't this sound awesome to you? It's the perfect place for everyone that loves to read and write.

On that day I also met a German youtuber and author, Mona Kasten, who I had already seen last year but didn't want to stand in that really long queue just to meet her when I've never read a book by her. I am really glad I got to see her on Saturday, even if it was just for a few seconds, because when I went to see how her signing was going on Sunday, the queue literally went till the end of the hall, and let me tell you - these halls are not small at all.

I also went to see the hall that included non-fiction and cooking, and afterwards headed out of the building to the shopping mall next to it. Don't judge me before you know what I did, I didn't just go shopping when I had paid 13 quid for a day ticket for the book fair. In that shopping mall was actually an event in a book shop happening, that I just could not miss in any possible way.

If you know me, you will probably be aware that I am not a big fan of German tv shows, but there is this one that really grabbed me. It's called 'Club der roten Bänder' (Club of Red Ribbons), and it's not even German originally. It's actually based on the life of a Spanish author named Albert Espinosa, who wrote about his fight with cancer, loosing one of his legs and several other things, and all that he has learned from it. The first book has also been translated into English, though the cover definitely isn't as pretty as it should be, trust me. It's not that typical cancer book, how Ms Hazel Grace Lancaster would describe them, but instead a book full of advice about life and death, and the things that he learned. I can't describe the way it's written in words, you will need to read it yourself in order to know what I mean - I definitely recommend you do that if you love inspirational stuff.

But back to the point, they actually made a Spanish TV show out of that, putting together a whole group of teenagers in hospital, living with certain illnesses and their journey as friends and individuals. That must have been the crappiest summary ever, but trust me - it's awesome!

Since last year there now is a German version of it, and I am freaking glad that it had its premiere on a day that I found nothing else to watch on. Now I'm obsessed, and I am so happy that I actually had the chance to meet 5 of the 6 main characters and the author as well on Saturday. I was one of the early birds there which meant I got to say hello a lot early and was first row in the signing line which was bloody awesome. I never would have thought that I would meet them, and it was honestly one of the best days of my life, minus the waiting. But they were so freaking nice, and I love that I had the chance to have little chats with them. 

Now I will stop boring you with that experience, because you probably won't be able to share my enthusiasm about this anyway. So let's get into the second part of that weekend, after I had finally been able to calm my very happy and energetic self down.  

The second half started just like the second, because for some reason I like to go through the 'children and teenager' one multiple times not to miss anything. That actually ended up with me meeting my first ever band favourite.

His name is Ross Anthony, and he used to be in a German band, put together by a German casting show in 2001! I don't know how that works out because I only turned three that year, but I definitely did listen to them back then! He wrote a book for small children and found his books when suddenly he was standing right behind me in a green snapback, and a blue suit with buttons tied over half of the things. Yep, that's Ross Anthony. But I think he's pretty funny. He's actually British, but over the years he has perfected his own version of a british/german accent. You literally wouldn't be able to hear it if he wouldn't put in a few English words or syllables from time to time.

I also went to see quite a few other halls that day, including the International one of course. Sadly they keep putting me down, as only Penguin gets a huge display and everyone just puts a huge mix of their books everywhere, has some tables and that's it. No discussions, signings or anything. Penguin actually do a sale each year at a certain time on the Sunday.

At least this time I knew better than to spend 20€ on a book that I would've gotten for 10 in any German library, after nearly panicking because they crammed so many people wanting to buy books in such a little space even though they literally have half the hall to themselves. This year they had 4 instead of  2 tables, so congrats on that :/. I didn't even bother doing the search for books because I definitely would have found a ton, but I knew better this time gladly, than spending the pound price on it.

If you were wondering, I only bought the book for the signing, as I prefer buying a new book when I have finished one in order not to get a huge TBR pile. :D

On a more positive note, I still had a really nice and relaxed day, apart from having to wait another hour at the train station to be able to get a train home. I had a really really nice weekend, and I would honestly recommend book fairs to anyone that loves reading and writing. Even if they can be stressy sometimes, they are the best thing ever, and it will totally get you into the reading and writing mode, whether you had been blocked before or not.

Have you ever been to a book fair? If so, where, and how did you like it? :)

Have an amazing day ♥

Love, Jacqueline Xx

Happy 1st Birthday!

Welcome to a new post!

I can't believe I'm actually typing this post already! Time has gone by so quickly, I can't even believe it. It feels like yesterday that I was preparing my first few blogposts to go up, yet today we are celebrating the first birthday of this blog! How? :o Exactly one year ago I published my first blogpost, welcoming you all to this new adventure.

I've owned a blog before, but never managed to keep it going as I wasn't only talking about things that I wanted to talk about, nor did I have the motivation to keep on writing posts. To be honest, I had that feeling a few times in this year as well, but I guess that's pretty normal. Everyone feels stuck at some point in their life, whether that's with school, work, friends, love, life in general or simply their hobby.

Leaving that aside, I've had the best time ever sharing my thoughts with you on so many different topics, and there are so many more on my list that I want to talk about in the future. I didn't force myself to write certain posts. Instead I posted the stuff that I felt like both writing and posting.

View numbers keep telling me what posts you guys love, which ones you didn't like as much, and which ones I definitely didn't promote enough. That is definitely a goal for the future year of blogging. I really need to get better at sharing.

I would like to say that I also want to write more posts in the future, but you should never promise anything on the internet, and with A-Levels getting closer and closer each month I'm pretty sure that's not what is going to happen. However, I do have so many fun things planned already for next year, and you will probably be bombarded with pictures and posts during those fun times, and I can't wait for you to see it. Not everything is fully secure yet, so I'm going to keep you on hold with that for a little longer, but if everything goes well in a few weeks I will be able to tell you about some cool plans for the next year! :)

One thing that has kept bothering me whilst owning this blog and blogging it away, is that I never feel like I engage with my readers enough. I've only gotten one comment on this blog the whole year, but I guess I can't blame any of you, and I am really not doing that. Please don't take this in the wrong way. Not even I comment 98% of the time when I read a blogpost, because I purely want to read and enjoy it. As my blog is still really small as well I can't expect that to happen.

Wow, I sounded so moody there, didn't I? I'm really sorry, I'm actually in quite a happy place right now. I haven't got any part of this blogpost planned, so again I'm just sprinkling it down as it gets into my head. I'm so so grateful that I have the opportunity to even share all of these thoughts and things that I enjoy and love with you. A few generations back I would have never been able to do this, and I don't know how I would've coped with all this inspiration and creativity wanting to burst out of my head. (To be honest, I probably would have found a way, but still.)

I'm so grateful that you guys read my blog, and that some of you actually keep coming back to it from time to time. Even if I don't know anything about you, I am so grateful that you take that time out of your day to read the words that I wrote. I've always loved writing, and I still do. I've always wanted to share my stories with people, and in some way this blog really satisfies that part of me and my childhood.

How crazy even is it that we now have the technology to share out thoughts with people that are thousands of kilometers away from us without needing to travel anywhere? We are so privileged, and we really need to be more grateful for it, as many negative sides there may be to it as well. We take it as self-evident (I hope that's the right word for it?), that we can do all of these amazing things, and that we don't need to read through a whole library in order to find an answer to our homework or have to travel somewhere to be able to chat to people all over the world and all that stuff.

Gosh, were is this leading, a few seconds ago I was still talking about this blog and you guys haha. Sorry about that.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read anything on this blog in the past year, whether it was one or a million times. Thank you for taking your time to read these weird thoughts that my head creates and makes me put down and publish for you. Thank you for giving me this tiny and cozy space on the internet and making me happy. I feel like my readers are my friends, even if they only listen. I can tell you whatever I want, and there's always at least one person that cares enough to listen.

Blogging has given me so much, and I feel so relieved that I no longer need to search for ways to share my opinions on things, instead I can share them with you directly. One day I might be looking back at this post and cringing at what I wrote. It's always that case anyway, isn't it? I'll probably be cringing about it by tomorrow, but whatever, that's life. Sometimes you need to put in a little cheese.

This one year has gone by so quickly. It feels like it passed in the blink of an eye, and now we are already off into year 2! So many things happened over this year, so many different blogposts and insights, so many pictures and words. Looking back, I don't regret any of them. Whether the post had 5 or 50 views.

Numbers don't always matter. My blog has currently been read a little over 2,8K times in one year. To some of you that might be such a small number, but to me it means a lot. I am thankful for every single one of them. This blog might be growing slowly, but who said big bloggers were able to pay their taxes etc from their blogging money after just one year of doing so? Zoella didn't become a huge blog from one second to another, nor did SprinkleOfGlitter or TheAnnaEdit.

Right now I am pretty happy with what I have achieved on this blog, and I never would have thought to even reach 1K views in a year, so that is pretty awesome. Who knows what will happen in the upcoming year of blogging?

There are so many possibilities, but we will all have to accept and live with whatever life throws at us. That's how life works. I have really been trying to work on that part in the past few months - accepting that things happen for a reason. There's a reason why you missed your bus this morning, because otherwise maybe you would've ended up in a car crash. There's a reason why you didn't do well on that exam, because maybe you need to stop thinking that you are too good to even study at all. There's a reason why you are having a bad day today, because there would be no rainbows without a little rain. What all of us need to remember at the end of the day is that:

(Source)

There's a reason why this is my favourite quote, and there's a reason why it was the inspiration for my blog name. It doesn't mean that I think my life is perfect and that I'm happy with everything that is happening in my life. I rather see it as a motivation to think more positively and remember that bad things happen in life, but there's a reason for that, and you need to make the best of it.

You've all probably stopped reading this already, right? :D Sorry if I bore you. I get a little carried away with my writing sometimes, but that's what you might get to see a little more often if you read this blog for a little longer. :)

As you are also part of this blog, because you are reading it, I thought it's only fair to share some 'numbers' with you. Here's a little recap for you. So here's a list of the most read posts:

1) Rituals Carpe Diem Shampoo Review

2) Girl Online On Tour by Zoe Sugg #BOOKREVIEWS

3) FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Danielle Peazer's Peace Eye Shadow Palette

Funnily, the number 1 post is actually one of my least favourite posts. I don't really know why, but you seemed to have loved it, so I guess I'm going to keep those reviews coming in the future. I love the other two posts in your favourites though! Great choice :D My favourite posts are all in the TOP 10 so I guess we pretty much agree in that case, which I'm really happy about.

Now let's talk about the least loved blogposts, you got to show some negative sides as well. Maybe someone actually would have liked this post and has just never seen it before? Think positively :D.

1) Beauty Wishlist

2) My Kindle Bookshelf Tour

3) 17 years, 17 places I have loved

Whaaat, I actually loved those Wishlist posts :o Wouldn't have guessed that, but okay good to know I guess. :D I'm not even going to try and bother to find an excuse why that happened. All three sadly are posts that took up quite a lot of time to write and edit. I'll take that into consideration on my future blogpost choices, and hopefully get an even better idea of what I will post about on my 18th :P

Let's talk about where most of my readers are from, as well, because why not? :)

1) USA

2) Germany

3) France

4) Russia

5) Ireland

I love that my readers come from so many different places, a few of them actually being on my list of places that I want to visit, so that is awesome! Also, these places are very different, so that's also lovely to see! :)

I guess you all must have enough of my talking that just won't stop. So I will try to keep this ending short, before we officially start into the second year of DANCINGINTHERAIN23. :D

Thank you so much for being part of this blog. Thank you for reading and thinking about what I am saying. Thank you for being awesome readers! Let's hope we'll one day be able to look back at this together and laugh about the good old times! I really hope you found joy in it, and will keep doing so. No matter what life throws at you, always remember the quote behind this blog name. Thank you for everything.

Have an incredible day!

Lots of love ♥

Jacqueline Xx