The Struggles of Job Orientation, Uni & Gap Years

The thought of having to choose what you want to do after school is scary. Whatever you are going to choose to do might have an influence on your whole life, or maybe you will have to realize that you still don't have a clue what you want to be one day and end up switching between jobs or uni courses every few weeks or months.

I've never had a proper idea of what I would want my job to be one day. Although, actually that's a lie. I've always known what I want to become,

only, it's just not very realistic.

I am not saying that it's impossible to write and publish books as your job, but being able to live off of it is definitely not done by applying to some random company you found in the newspaper. I have never and will never cross it out of my life plans, but I am aware of the fact that I need some education to pay for a living first/along with it. And that's exactly what has been bothering me for a long time.

The Pressure

I am sure to say that there are many many people my age, younger and older, that are struggling to find out what they want to do and who they want to be. There are so many possibilities out there, yet none of us seem to be able find out what's right. Especially in the last few years of your education, there's a lot of pressure on you to finally find out what you want to do. Our society seems to have created this ideal image that we somehow all feel pressured

to follow.

Finish school, maybe a gap year or start uni straight away, start working, and then in the best case get married and have kids all before the age of 30. What? Why are we putting such pressure on us, when there's actually no reason to hurry? Yes you need to work for a living, but that doesn't mean you are forced to go to uni or start working straight after school.

My Own Struggles

I thought I had my plan figured out for at least another year after I'm done with my A-levels. For many years I thought I would be doing a year as an Au-Pair in England, and then probably go to uni afterwards. I didn't know what I wanted to study at that point,

just that I wanted to go to uni.

I have to say though - I never wanted to go to uni because I felt pressured to study. I have always wanted to go to uni, purely for the reason that I love learning, and I love learning new things even more when it comes to the things that I enjoy (I am not saying I love studying maths physics etc, just learning in general).

However, with the start of this year, new perspectives somehow came rolling around, and now I seem to be just as clueless as before, even though I have done many hours of googling, thinking and deciding. It's not that my own lack of interest in a particular uni course is the problem anymore, but the fact that the things that come with it might not adjust to

my life.

I had been going back and forth between doing something with Tourism, Translating or Journalism, changing my opinion pretty much every single day or week. For around 3 or 4 months now, I think I may have finally decided that I would like to do something with Journalism. Even though there are uni courses for that here in Germany, where it's a lot cheaper to study than in many other places, none of them really sparked my interest. There was no uni who's website I would be googling for days and weeks, and that just kept hanging onto me.

I never thought studying in Great Britain would be a possibility, as it's expensive as heck. I knew studying in Scotland as an EU student was cheaper, but I always was somehow scared in a way that I would never be able to understand their accents if I

went to study there.

However, after stressing about not finding the perfect course at a German uni, I still found myself googling universities in Scotland. It was actually just meant to be for fun, I didn't expect to find anything. Yet, I ended up finding my dream course. I was always joking about how my perfect course would be something that included English, Creative Writing, Journalism and Tourism at the same time. Well, guess what I found.

A course called "English & Journalism & Creative Writing" at the University of Strathclyde Glasgow. I couldn't believe it, and ended up finding out all about that course, the uni, the city etc. I have literally gotten obsessed with the idea of going there and studying that course.

What's stopping you then, you may be thinking? Well, sadly, a lot of things right now. The main factor is definitely costs. You have to study that course for 4 years. As an EU citizen you pay ₤1,820 per year to study there, plus living and travelling costs, which is already a lot of money for someone like me. However, thanks to Brexit, there's a very likely chance that once Great Britain is no longer part of the EU, I would have to pay around ₤13,500 (I think the price has actually risen to over 14,000 starting in the new term). That's a shit load of money that I could probably never get together. The EU citizen price is one thing, but that international one is killing me by just thinking about it. ₤1,820 might be doable if I worked my bum off and got some

kind of scholarship or funding.

But that's the next problem. I still haven't found anywhere, neither in Germany nor in Scotland, that would offer to help me with that for a longer duration than one year of studying. That would still leave me to pay ₤5,460 plus living costs etc for three years. I don't even want to add up how much money I would have to make each month in order to live up to that. I don't even have the time to save so much money in advance, as my only chance to still get to pay the EU prize would probably be if I started next year.

My smallest problems are literally the actual application, the personal statement, wider reading and actually getting in, which is kind of sad in my opinion. I kept making myself think that I can do it, but I honestly don't know if I can. The thought of being in debt just doesn't go well with my character traits. However, I would actually give up the gap year I had been urging for just to go to that uni, even if I have been urging to have a year off school and studying for so long. It's literally my dream course, and I would literally do everything (except for going in dept though haha) right now to get in and study there.

On the other side, I am also trying to be a realistic, and trying hard not to get my hopes up to high and look for a plan B instead. Au-Pair is still in the back of my mind, but for some reason it just doesn't seem as appealing to me anymore as it did until a few months ago. I just feel like I would be stuck in that one place for so long instead of seeing something of the world. Which is funny, because if I ended up going to uni I would probably be stuck in one place for a long time too. I have been thinking about other things like Work&Travel, but I am not really sure whether that would be for me. I like to have a plan, and I feel like that's the type of thing where you would  have to be a lot more spontanous than I am. Plainly travelling without earning any money is just not possible for me, just as much as it's not possible for me to just go to uni for so much money without doing a lot of research and putting a lot of thought into it. I'm not sure whether a mix of these things would be the right thing either.

Don't Be Discouraged

There are probably many of you out there, reading this right now, who are just as unsure of their future after school. But let me tell you - it's totally fine not to have everything figured out already. You probably know that already, but I feel like a lot of us sometimes need

to be reminded of that. 

Not everyone gets born and initially knows what they want to become one day. I have friends that have known what they wanted to do since they were very young, others who don't even know what field they want to go into. There's so much pressure, so many possibilities, yet somehow so little time. It's an important decision to make, so it's not one that always comes easy or quickly. But what's sure is that one day you will have found something that is for you, whether it takes weeks or years to figure out what that is.

Tips & Tricks

If you are still trying to find out what field you want to work in, there are a few basic tips out there. A lot of people recommend online tests, but personally, I didn't find them very helpful, as I got told that I would be the perfect maths teacher or actress. Take in mind, that the subject I hate most is maths and that I am probably the worst actor ever. Still, I would advise you to just try some, and if they don't work, well, at least you've tried.

What personally helped me the most is going to job and gap year fairs, googling and getting books filled with all uni courses available in Germany.

Have a google or keep your eyes open on Facebook and outside to catch any upcoming fairs about jobs, uni or gap years. Take every opportunity to go to some. If none of them have anything that interests you (which I highly doubt as they cover many fields) at least you'll go home with a new set of pens. 😁

Googling is helpful whether you already know what job fields you are interested in or not. There are several pages that are going to provide you with information about almost anything. Watching some advice videos of youtubers can

also be quite helpful.

Gladly, were I live we can get a whole book about all uni courses that are available in Germany for free, once we're in our second to last year of A-levels, and there is also one that is purely for jobs. The one about jobs hasn't helped me that much, but the uni one definitely did. It's a huge ass book but it has so much useful information inside, and I am so glad to be able to use this. It not only covers a general explanation of course fields and jobs intertwining with it, but it also gives you tips on finance, study abroad etc, and has every single uni course written down in each field that you can do in Germany. It's so well done! If you have any chance to get anything like this, please do it, because it can be very very helpful to get an idea of what interests you, what you would consider studying and if so, where you would  have to look

instead of doing blind googling.

You can also ask professionals or your teachers for help! I personally don't like that idea as I rather find out what I want myself, but if you truly have no idea, give it a try.

Go Your Own Way

In the end, you will have to decide for yourself what's best for you.

Please don't let anyone tell you what you need to do after school. By saying that I don't mean you shouldn't give a shit about your future and just spend your whole time being lazy and enjoying mum's home-cooked meals etc. I am saying, that you should

do whatever feels right for you.

If your parents want you to become a doctor, that's cool. But if you would rather become a florist, become a florist. It's you who is going to spend the rest of your life doing that job, not them. It's your life, where you can make your own decisions, even if your parents were so nice to give birth to you and bring you up all these years. Your happiness is important, and you won't end up being happy in your life if you let your friends and family tell you what you need to do.

Talking about doing what makes you happy and doing whatever feels right for you, please don't feel pressured to go to university either, let alone do your A-levels. Uni is not for everyone, and if you feel like it's not the right thing for you, don't do it. Uni will always have it's arms spread open for you, even if you don't want to do it right now and maybe in a few years you decide you actually do want to go. And even if you will never be interested in uni - that's totally fine. You should not go to uni because there is so much pressure on you because everyone else around you is going to uni and because your family and society are expecting it from you. Also, you might not even need a uni degree for your dream job, and you can still make great money if you don't go to uni, even if society tries to make us believe otherwise.

In the case of education and jobs, you should always put yourself and your own interests and happiness first.

Gap Years Are Awesome

As you've already heard, even though I am considering uni, I've also been thinking about a gap year for a long time. Gap years can be a great opportunity, whether it's just for your own pleasure, whether you want to do it for your CV or whether you just want to take that year so that you may finally find out what interests you and what you want to do. For me it was always a mix of the three.

There are so many different things you can do in a gap year, whether you want to get outside of your country or not. You can just do some jobbing, trying different things or just earning some money for other things. You can use that time to do an internship or a few different internships, whether abroad or in your home country. You can do volunteering in pretty much any country. You could just spend some time travelling if you have the funds for it. You could do Work & Travel and gain job experience whilst travelling. You can become an Au-Pair. You could also just do a whole mash up of all of the things I just listed.

There are so many opportunities out there, you just have to find out whether that's the right thing for you, and if so - which one do you decide for.

The positive side of gap years is that after so many years of school and only "small" breaks, you can finally take out some to enjoy the things you do and try something different. You don't only do something for your CV, but also for yourself and you as a person, time where you can finally see the world if you want to and open your horizon to new things. You don't really have any responsibilities yet, it would be a great time to do it, if you think that a gap year is something that you would enjoy.

~

This has probably not helped many of your with your own struggles of deciding what to do after school. Sorry for that. I tried. I have been wanting to get these words out there for a few weeks now, but never had the courage to actually do it. The topic has been haunting me for the past few weeks, and whenever I think about it, it only makes me more sad that I don't know what's going to come.

But in the end, I think we'll all find our place. If you can take anything from this blogpost, please remember that you should never feel pressured into doing anything. Whether it's uni, a certain job or something else. Put your own interests, wishes and happiness first. Remember, that the perfect job isn't a job. It's supposed to be something that you enjoy like a hobby. And please - don't give up if you haven't found the perfect profession and/or uni course for you yet. The best things in life take time.

Now that this very serious post has finally come to an end, I would like to know how you feel about the struggle of job orientation, uni courses and gap years. Do you feel the pressure? Are you torn yourself or do you know exactly what you want? Share your thoughts. I believe there are a few of us here, who are open to any kind of words that make them feel better and like they are not alone with these struggles.

Have a beautiful day ♥

Lots of Love, Jacqueline Xx

A Quarter Of The Year

Welcome to a new post!

Can you believe that we are already 3 months into 2017? Wasn't Christmas like yesterday, and weren't we running around in shorts last month (yeah, okay in Australia and other hot countries you probably were, but you get my point 😃)?

To be honest with you, this blogpost is mainly happening because I didn't have any idea for a quick blogpost until like two hours ago because I was stressing over my maths exam that is happening on Tuesday. I nearly threw a fun quiz at you, but I had to realize that that can actually be slightly time consuming as well, so here we are. Let's do a life update, since I haven't done one of these in a while, because I have somehow stopped doing a monthly chat about what happened that month. Would you like me to start doing them again or would you rather just get a life update post every few months? Let me know. This blog is yours just as much as it is mine.

Writing

Writing wise, you could say it's been going pretty well. Some of you might remember that I have been working on a new novel since NaNoWriMo in November last year, and I can finally tell you that I finished the first draft! I finished it just a day after Valentine's Day, and I am so happy about it. It was a long process, but I am still not even close to the end. I managed to write way more than my 5,000 words each week, but now it's time to edit. To be honest, I have written about 7 or 8 proper novels in my life, but I have never edited one of them. Not that I didn't want to, but to me changing things about this beautiful (well kind of) piece of art just hurts and I keep putting it off. I already have some notes on things I want to change, but it took me until last night that I finally sat down and wrote something of the second draft. Let's hope I'll actually get my shit together and polish this beauty until it's perfect.

School

After having a slightly less school loaded time since the end of January we are now back to exam season, meaning that there's pretty much no week except for the Easter break that I am not going to spend studying for exams. That's annoying, but I know that in the end it'll be worth it. I will be more than glad when Maths is over until May once Tuesday is over. I'm going to fight through it, because I am looking forward to June so much, and I cannot wait to get out of there and do something different.

We're actually doing an internship during that time to have one last chance to get a feeling for what we want to do after our A-levels whilst we're still in school. Mine is actually a very exiting type of internship, and I am already so exited to finally tell you about it once we're a little bit closer to it, because you will definitely see a lot of and about it on my blog when it's happening. 😊

Exiting events in the future

Apart from that internship, I've got a whole other load of exiting events happening this year, which I am definitely going to share with you on my blog, because why not? Next month my internet bestie is visiting me and we are definitely going to have a lot of fun, I am sure of that. I'm also going to a Shawn Mendes concert with another friend, and I am sooo exited for that! It's going to be such a fun day, even if he'll just be a very tiny figure at the other end of the room. In the end the whole experience counts, not in how much detail I was able to see his hair. 😃 Me and my fam have also treated us to a Greece trip in the Summer break, and I am sooo ready to go there! I've always wanted to go to Greece, and somehow I actually managed to persuade them to go there - yaaaas!

Reading

I gave myself the goal to read 40 books this year, even though I know it's going to be busy as hell, especially towards the second half. So far it's going really well. I've read 11 books so far, and currently working on adding a 12th one to the list, with another one on my shelf waiting to be read. I'm also focusing on trying to do some wider reading right now, in case I somehow have a chance to actually apply and get into my dream uni, studying my dream course in Glasgow, and it's actually kind of exiting me in some way. I really want to spend so much more time reading this year, so if you have any suggestions, make sure to let me know, because I often get stuck on deciding what to read next! 😊

Future Plans

Talking about wider reading, it was also one of my New Year's Resolutions to finally figure out what I want to do after my A-levels. Well, that train actually started rolling a lot quicker than I thought, but I spend a lot of time googling and thinking, especially in January. I had been very indecisive the months before that between the areas I would like to work in, but for the past three months I feel like I might actually finally have found a plan. On the other hand, googling also made me throw the hole plan of the future around. I had actually been planning on doing a gap year as an Au-Pair in England for a few years, but now, I am considering different things.

I have actually found my dream uni course at the University of Strathclyde, pretty much the one I have always been joking about being the perfect one if that ever existed, never coming to mind that it actually might be an actual thing. The course is called 'English & Journalism & Creative Writing' and pretty much combines everything that I want from my dream course.

The only problem with that is that the Uni is in Glasgow, and both finances and Brexit might crash all of my dreams of ever going there. Winning around 6,000€ in the lottery would actually be very helpful with that haha. Not going to happen though, is it.. I'm still trying to find a scholarship for it that would offer me at least a small amount of money for all of the fours years of studying it, instead of just one of them. Otherwise, I don't know how I can make it possible before Brexit rises the yearly course price from 1,800 to 14,000₤ per year. The smallest problem for me right now is actually the application process, which is a lot more time consuming

and difficult than in Germany.  

Pray for me that I can somehow make this happen. I would absolutely give up my gap year for my dream course, that's how much I want it. If it won't happen, I am now actually considering maybe doing just half a year of Au-Pair and another half doing Work&Travel or something similar. I might do a longer chat about this whole situation in the future, if you were interested in that? Also, what are your plans for the future if you're still in school? Do you know exactly what you want to do yet, or are you still trying to figure it out?

Fitness & Health

I've had my ups and downs with fitness so far, as I am pretty bored of all the free programs and videos I have tried, but for now I think I have found my current go-to workout. I'm doing a 12 week plan in the Nike + Training app, and so far I am quite enjoying it, although I am sometimes struggling to find the time for it before exams. Eating wise, it could be worse but it could also be better. I am cutting out chocolate until Easter unless I am able to get my hands on a piece of nice cake from time to time, which is a way of stopping me from eating so much of my favourite muesli, which is not only filled with chocolate, but also a huge amount of sugar. I don't really feel like I am seeing many results right now, but that's okay. I ate a lot of shit when I was ill a few weeks ago, but sometimes you just need to let go of the whole health ban and treat yourself. 

To end this blogpost, here are some other impressions from the first three months of the year.

The cheese facing the wrong way is breaking my heart a little.

Can you tell I like taking pictures of my food? :D

What have been your own personal highlights of the year so far? Or are you still waiting for one? Let's chat! 😋

Have a good start into the new week! ♥

Love, Jacqueline Xx

Books To Read This Month & Wider Reading For Uni

Welcome to a new post!

If you've been following my blog for a little while, you might know that I enjoy reading quite a lot. And if you don't, well, now you do haha. 😋 I had already put my reading goal to 40 books for this year, even though it's definitely not going to be one where I will be able to make much reading, especially towards the second half of the year. I'm trying my best though, and I'm absolutely loving it.

However, I am currently hoping to somehow find a way to finance my dream course at my dream university in Glasgow. I have been googling tons of different things for nearly three months about it, however, I didn't seem to come across such thing as a personal statement and wider reading. I don't think you have to do either of those things to apply to any university in Germany, so it kind of shocked me seeing Eve tweet about doing something like wider reading for a personal statement. I get why they are doing it, but I was a little shocked to find out  and that definitely put a little more pressure on.

I mean I don't even know if I have any chance of going to that uni right now, but I might as well take the challenge. I do love a challenge, and reading a few different things to my usual romances and sci-fis won't hurt me. I've been wanting to try and read some more classics for a while and it's the perfect opportunity, although I am sure wider reading is not just about reading classics. I just haven't read many classic books in school yet, so I think it's the time to do so.

Whether I will end up making use of it in a personal statement for my dream uni or not, I am so going to do this. And here's what I decided to make my first purchases...although I have to be honest...some of these I bought a few days before I found out about all of this jazz, but I thought I would include them anyway.

 Veronica Roth - Carve The Mark

I've been wanting to read this ever since I heard about it being released in January as I loved Divergent, but somehow it took me another month after the release date to finally order this. Obviously I already had to read this, even though I was a lot more in 50 Shades mode when I started it than one for one that is a little more Science Fiction or Fantasy...I am actually not quite sure on the genre of this. Sadly, it didn't get close to how awesome Divergent was, but it's still a very nice book. I found it a little hard to get into the world of the characters from time to time, but if you are looking for a lovely novel or you just love Veronica Roth to death - read it. Can we talk about how pretty the cover is, as well?

 William Shakespeare - Romeo & Juliet

Well, to be fair, I was only half exited about purchasing this. I actually already own a copy of Romeo & Juliet, but I never finished it because I thought it was a good idea to make it one of the first books I read in English as a non-native English speaker (is that even a word?). Well, it definitely wasn't, because I never finished it as I didn't understand a thing. However, we are reading it for our Advanced English course this year, and I finally have the chance to properly read it. I mean I'm pretty much forced to, aren't I? I actually finished it yesterday, and even though I was off to a rough start once again, meaning I put it down for two weeks after reading Act 1, with learning about that wider reading thingy I actually got really exited to read it and ended up quite enjoying it. Yes, it's not my favourite thing ever to try and guess what the hell Shakespeare means with some words and phrases, but somehow it still didn't put me off of wanting to try another Shakespeare novel in the future.

 J.K. Rowling - Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them:

The Original Screenplay

Being the Potterhead I am, and no one coming to see the film with me (which kinda broke my heart, especially because my mum (the one who introduced me to the series in the first hand and loves it just as much as me) didn't want to go with me because apparently she had no time...I'll just force her next time hehe), I just had to get the book even though I hate reading screenplays. I mean, I would have gotten the book anyway at some point, but I had actually planned on seeing the movie first before getting this. Well, I had to change those plans but now I am even more exited to get the DVD for Easter and watch it millions of times. Eddie Redmayne is such a nice guy, I have already watched all of his interviews for the film, and oh my god his accent! I am so exited to see this, can you tell?

 David J. Peterson - The Art of Language Invention

If you read my recent blogpost on my writing you will know that I am currently sitting on the edits of my most recent novel. When I saw this book a few months back whilst googling Game of Thrones books, I got really interested in seeing what it was about. I put it in and out of my basket quite a few times but finally decided to order it. It's not that I need a particular new language for my book, but it might come in very handy with a few spells and if I ever decide to write a sequel (which I am hoping for). I haven't gotten very far into it as the Sounds part seems kind of boring to me because even with the explanation I don't quite understand most of it, but we'll see. I am hoping to love the rest of it, because the introduction was actually quite nice.

 George Orwell - 1984

This was one of the main books that came up when I was researching wider reading, though there is not a proper list, and I saw quite a few people saying that it's one of their favourite books. I didn't even have an idea what it's about when I saw it in the book store, but I bought it anyway. I want to know what the fuss is about. I am yet to start it, but I think I'll make it the next one I read, because I am very intrigued to read it. If you've read this before, let me know what you thought of it!

 Truman Capote - Breakfast At Tiffany's

I have never seen nor read Breakfast At Tiffany's. To be fair, I don't even know what it's about apart from what it says on the back. Considering how many people love the story, that might come a little shocking to you, but I somehow just never came round to reading it. For me it was never on any reading list until I was googling wider reading. This actually came up in a list or two, so I decided to give it a try. And to be honest, this gorgeous cover was just one of the main reasons why I decided to make it one of my first wider reading purchases. I'm quite exited to read it now.

 Alan Bennett - The Uncommon Reader

To be fair, I had never heard of this book before until I was standing in the book store browsing the shelf full of school and uni books. I would have never picked it up if it wouldn't have had the queen on it because it would have gotten lost in the mass of other books around it. But I am absolutely obsessed with the British and Swedish royals, and it being about the Queen learning to love reading - I just couldn't put it down again, even though I knew pretty much nothing about it. It's actually my current read, and I am still trying to figure out what I think of it. If you want to know what I think of it, I actually put up a lot of my reviews on goodreads.

Sooo, what do you think of my most recent book purchases? I actually have quite the list now of books I want to read since I started obsessing over wider reading, even though that actually might not be that necessary, but if you have any other suggestions, no matter for what genre - definitely share them with me! I love love love reading and I have a lot more time to try and read all of the books in the world, so keep those recommendations coming in.

Have a wonderful start to the new week ♥

Lots of Love, Jacqueline Xx